How to Win a Woman

To win a woman, trial a friendship before a relationship; win her with your masculinity; show her respect; show her you care by the way you present yourself and hone your social skills to ensure she enjoys your company.

1. Treat her as a friend first, develop a friendship.

If you don’t have a girlfriend it’s hard to get one, if you have lots it’s easy. Collect women, then you have the choice of all of them. You are not only giving yourself a wide choice but that is how you learn about yourself, what you want and what you don’t want. Trial friendships before relationships. When we introduce you to someone special, having all the other women helps to keeps the breaks on with that special person.

When you were 18 – 20 there were heaps of girls around and you got to know them before you dated them right? Because women at that age were under an obligation to their parents, things happened very slowly. Yet many of the unions that began then will last a lifetime because people took the time to get to know each other first before they entered a relationship. They trialed friendships before trialing relationships. Once you are over 30, women own their own bodies and can make snap decisions and they do hence everything moves move more quickly.

Also, once you are over 25 yrs, 68 % of the population is in relationships and the other 38% are thinly spread out. Most people meet one person and say things like: "This is fate – this is meant to be” because they want a relationship and they work very hard at ‘it’ because they want the dream, whether the person is right or not. If it does not work out, the two main reasons are: it all happened too quickly and they had a choice of one. If you were going to buy a house, a car or an outfit and you had a choice of one, you wouldn’t buy but people snap up that one person because they don’t want to miss out.

Although being likeable means you have to make an effort. Start by being less conservative, be approachable, and smile a lot. Make it a habit to chat to people at work. Smile and say hello when you meet people in lifts or corridors. It takes courage but once you start you will find it becomes easier to approach a special person or for them to approach you.

2 Win her with your masculinity.

The Most Important Factor in a good relationship is to have similar values. We all have two sets of values - what we espouse to and our acted values when you go out to dinner with a woman she tells you her espoused values, you tell her yours and it’s very superficial. Whereas over a game of tennis or golf you discover: Is she as good as she says she is? Does she cheat? Does she have any stamina? Is she a good sport? Does she have manners? Does she have a sense of humour and is she fun to be with? And if its tennis you might even get to see her legs. You will find out a lot more about a person over an activity than you would over dinner and you are less likely to end up discussing personal issues. Make your first few meetings activity meetings, doing things that show your strengths.

Dora related to me that the first time she met Don she wasn’t impressed but he invited her to go kayaking. She said, "I’ve never been kayaking and I really wanted to go but I didn’t fancy going out with Don. The kayaking won. Don arrived with all the equipment, he really knew what he was doing and we had wonderful time. And by the end of the day, I really liked him. They are now an item. Don relied on his masculinity, expertise and strength to attract Dora.

3 Good manners are a form of respect – show her respect.

In the 21st century, we discuss respect rather than good manners. They are equally important. Ensure she is safe by walking her to her car if it’s dark, especially in suburbs like Fitzroy and St Kilda. When you are with a new lady, make it easy for her, like the good dancer who knows how to guide a woman. Say things like: wait there until I open the door for you, let me pull out your chair, I’ll walk on the outside. This way there’s no excuse for being misinterpreted and your good manners will be more graciously accepted.

Avoid expensive activities because women like to pay for themselves so don’t embarrass them with expensive golf games or other activities that may be beyond their budget.

4 Show her you care by the way you present yourself

If you are seeking a partner who looks good, it is up to you to look like what you expect. If you expect your partner to be well groomed and well presented so that you are proud to introduce her to your friends, you have to look the same.

Single people are always on show; singles can’t sneak down to the market looking as though they have just got out of bed. Singles must always look attractive, hair done, shaved and wearing clean, ironed clothes. Single people have an exercise program. Single people control their weight. My son met his wife at the supermarket. He’s the type who talks to everyone so it was easy for him to chat her up in the checkout queue. Do you always look good enough to approach a woman when you go to the supermarket?

You only ever get one chance to create a good first impression. If you meet an elegantly dressed man in a suit in an office and see the same man 3 days later needing a shave in dirty old jeans you think that executive is on his day off. Whereas if you see a fellow for the first time needing a shave in dirty old jeans and 3 days later see him in a suit you are more inclined to think, that hobo is wearing a suit.

It’s appropriate to be dressed in a suit for coffees in the city during the week but if you are meeting in the suburbs at the weekend casual clothes would be much more suitable.

If you are not sure that your wardrobe will pass the image test, engage an image consultant to give you the best advice. An image consultant will go through your wardrobe, tell you what you should never wear again, and take you shopping. Having a great wardrobe not only impresses women but also gives you heaps of confidence. At Entre Nous, we recommend Claire Maxfield of Suits to Suit.

5 Hone your social skills to ensure she enjoys your company

Don’t ask personal questions. Good topics for discussions with women on the first three meetings are books, movies, restaurants, music, theatre, the Arts, sports, holidays and hobbies.

Avoid talking about women at all, never mention other women you have been out with nor your ex wife or girlfriend. You don’t have to explain why you are divorced and if you do, you are giving her permission to vent her spleen which could take 2 -3 hours. If she asks why your marriage dissolved reply with a five word sentence and change the subject in the same breath.

The greatest lie on the singles scene is: "I’ll call you”. You may mean to call her and I am sure most men do but they often don’t get around to it. It is best not said. If you say "I’ll call you”, she assumes you are a liar. If you want another date with a woman, tee it up before you depart. Then you don’t have to worry about organizing it later, it’s all organized. You feel secure and so does she.

Give yourself a choice, collect them all and trial friendships. Don won Dora with his masculinity and strength and you can too. Like a good dancer, guide her so that she knows you are going to open her door; displaying good manners is showing respect for your woman. You will only get one opportunity to make a good first impression, be prepared. If you want a woman who looks good, ensure you look good too. Finally keep the conversation light and easy for the first few meetings. After all, courtship is meant to be fun and enjoyable.