History of Entre Nous
My name is Rosalind Baker, I created Entre Nous Introduction Service for Melbourne successful business single men and single women and professional single men and single women in 1991.
Below are some of the questions I am asked:
Why are Australia's top IQs not reproducing?
Who are the most difficult people to find partners for?
Do opposites attract?
Entre Nous is in its 20th year of successfully matching single professionals in Melbourne.
Despite the prevalence of online dating, we advocate more traditional methods of finding a partner. Increasingly, those wanting to form long term, successful relationships are attracted to our holistic approach. From Image Consulting to Life Coaching and Relationship Education, it takes much more to match the X and Y Generations than it did our parents. As founder of Entre Nous, I am author of three best-selling books on relationships, a social commentator and am an experienced speaker and writer on relationships.
The reason I started Entre Nous was because I had just written my third book, Dial A Personality about the seven female personality types within each woman. After writing a brief chapter on the seven male types I wondered whether I could work out which female personality type matches which male personality type. I was amazed that I discovered I knew it all. At the keyboard it just flowed out of me. Then I realised that here was my formula for matching people.
I have always been a match maker. I even introduced my first husband to his next wife. When I realised that I had a formula for matching people I rang a few friends to see what they thought about me starting an introduction service - seeing I had a formula. My friends replies were words to the affect: "We've been telling you to do this for years." That is the story behind the creation of Entre Nous. Entre Nous, in French, means 'between us' or 'between you and me'.
How and why we became a cut above our competitors
Like any business, but especially given the nature of our industry, it is important for Entre Nous to reach new clients. One of our greatest challenges is promoting the service we provide – a holistic approach to finding members a long-term relationship – to an audience which is increasingly time poor and looking for a quick fix solution to all problems.
However, improving work-life balance through a long-term, meaningful relationship is rarely something you can achieve through a band-aid solution. Band-aid solutions like online dating or services that aren't thorough and careful in matching. Such services may fill a void in the short term but they will often come unstuck leaving the client back at square one having lost time and missed opportunities.
Entre Nous' service is the opposite of quick-fix; it is our aim to create successful partnerships through a holistic approach:
• Samba Dancing and Zumba Fitness classes allow guests to mix.
• Introductions based on shared values not just superficial traits
• A relationship guarantee
• Reviews, image consulting, life coaching, personal coaching, beauty therapy, speech therapy and counselling
• Relationship education for those in committed relationships
• A value-added website, which is about providing members and prospective clients with valuable information and insights - not just a sales pitch.
These services, establish Entre Nous as one of Melbourne's leading introduction services. However, Entre Nous does more than simply introduce, we aim to ensure long-term, relationship success.
Melbourne singles may be tempted by the cheap and easy online dating option, but once single men and single women realise that this is a short-term fad they will be looking for the better alternative. The alternative where the result is busy people being able to spend time with a partner rather than searching in (often in vain) for one.
Why Yasmine of Channel Ten Failed
Channel Ten's show, Yasmine's Getting Married was unceremoniously dumped after only 2 weeks. Poor ratings are blamed for the show's demise after opening with only 778,000 viewers – well short of the Network's dream target of one million for its opening night. However, this lack-lustre response from viewers could not have been anticipated given the current obsession with dating, marriage, single-dom and how to escape it. Realistically, the likelihood of Yasmine's wedding ending in happily ever after was always going to be slim. Remember, Yasmine spends 9 weeks not with her fiancée but on a raft of blind dates one of which she ends up marrying. So how well does she actually know the man she ends up with?
The blind dates are administered by a panel of people who don't really know Yasmine and clearly care more for pulling the ratings than finding Yasmine a husband. And what if Yasmine didn't want to marry any of the men the panel served up or, worse still, what if the chosen man didn't want to marry her? Nope, Channel Ten was adamant – a white wedding season finale there would be.
The show didn't work – not because of lack of interest in single life and dating but because the audience could tell it was a fake. The show would have ended in a wedding, sure, but probably not in a long term relationship. People understood that this was an unrealistic, unnatural way to decide on whom to marry. But in real life, many people make the same mistakes as Channel Ten. They expect romance (not friendship) to be the hallmark of a good relationship, they believe that a quick fix like online dating can provide a solid, long-term relationship and they believe that physical and often superficial traits like shared age and hobbies are indicators of what will be a relationship success.
As founder of Entre Nous, I believe that seeking a partner with the core values that are required for a long-term relationship is much more likely to ensure a sustainable relationship. Entre Nous is all about understanding your values and needs, encouraging friendships and taking measures like relationship education and life coaching to ensure your relationship is successful. Want a relationship? Perhaps Yasmine and the thousands of men who attempted to join the cast should be calling Entre Nous.
Want to be a dad? Don't wait!
It's a common argument that women should put baby plans ahead of career plans should they want to beat the biological clock and have the best chance of pregnancy success. However, this argument should apply to men as well.
A couple's risk of their pregnancy ending in miscarriage increases along with the father's age – not just the mother's age as previously thought. So, while it has long been thought that a man can be a father at any age – no matter how late in life, this is proving to be untrue.
Men should not put their relationship and family plans on hold with the hope that once the career plans are in place the family plans will smoothly follow. Melbourne Single men and single women should aim for work/life balance; a relationship need not hinder career success. If you're thinking of children you cannot afford to put relationship plans on hold. Indeed, studies have shown that balance between work and personal life improves performance at work. So the lesson for men: don't put off forming a relationship and having children because you are too busy with your career. A meaningful relationship improves your career performance and your biological clock ticks just like that of your female counterparts.
Online Dating is Dangerous
We believe that on-line dating has can be dangerous. Everyone knows of the murdered woman who met her husband on-line. Some of the stories we have heard from single men and single women who have tried on-line dating have told us some hair-raising stories.
On-line dating is unregulated and poses many risks to Melbourne single women as well as single men. A 50 year old divorcee told me she had a series of photos air-brushed to make her look 25 years' younger. Not surprisingly she received more than 150 replies. However she only met three of them. I think the embarrassment of not being who she had depicted herself to be must have come as a shock to the men and rather hard to handle.
We have all heard of some Melbourne single men or single women who were successful in finding a partner online, but there are hidden dangers with male predators trawling online. Obviously I have my own barrow to push but an introduction service, such as Entre Nous, ensures the dating process is much more selective and safe. At Entre Nous we screen our clients to eradicate risks and dangers for both single men and single women. When single men and single women come to us we can create a profile of whom our prospective clients are and what they are doing with their lives, their personality, their lifestyles, goals and values.
I was dubbed by the press in 1988 as one of Australia's leading authorities on courtship, and have written three best-sellers "Dial A Man" a sequel, "Dial A Woman" and “Dial A Personality”. With online dating, there is always the risk of misrepresentation. We are told by Life Works that the main reason for divorce this century is due to one partner being unfaithful over the internet and on-line dating.
People lie about their age, their weight; they produce old photographs or airbrushed photos. One-on-one dating services in Melbourne are regulated. We are told that many people often wile away their time trawling online. People looking for partners, however, need to be warned that there are inherent dangers searching for 'Mr or Ms Perfect' online.
Relationship Education - Key to Success
At Entre Nous, in my experience with relationship issues, I believe that it should be mandatory for couples to undergo government accredited courses aimed at managing the risk in relationships before being issued with a marriage license.
If governments were prepared to fund such courses, it would save taxpayers and the economy millions of dollars brought about by divorce. At Entre Nous in my experience at assisting professionals form successful relationships over the past 20 years, I believe relationship education teaches couples to seek help before it is too late to save a partnership.
Even minor issues must be resolved because unresolved small issues can accumulate until communication reaches an impasse. Ninety percent of couples who seek counselling have left it too late.
Young adults need to pass a test before they can drive a car. It's not unrealistic to expect couples to undergo relationship training before making serious personal commitments.
A simple eight-hour course in relationship education increases the success rate of a relationship by 30%.
A government-funded course may save taxpayers millions in the divorce courts as well as grants for single parents.
An accredited course teaches a couple how to seek help if need be. Even more importantly to recognise an issue and take the action needed to resolve it.
At Entre Nous we believe the next generation will have a much lower divorce rate. We will see a turnaround with marriages again lasting a lifetime.
The next generation is the product of divorce – it scarred their childhood to the extent that they will go to great lengths for a solution. New generations are taught to seek answers and they will want answers on relationships and how to make them work.
